Okay, yes i love my family, but i don't gotta like them all at the same time. 

Who may i be reffering to at this moment?  none other than my big sister christina.  now i'm not one to use profanaty, at least not while i type, but she is a fucking bitch.  my mother has been taking care of her since she was a child, and now the woman is twenty two years old, has two kids, a piece of shit for a boyfirend, and has offishally taken it too far.

My sister, who is DESPRITLY in love with the bigest louser in the world, one we call matt, has decided that instead of helping me move on sunday, she is going to take her kids to see their father, who has never payed child support and dosn't even pay attention to them when he sees them.  I, who have helped her move all eleven times that she has moved, was passed over for an asswhole who does nothing but nock her up and ditch her.

Grrr, she makes me so fucking mad!  here she is sitting in my mothers living room, calling her a fucking bitch, tellign her not to talk about things that she dons't understand, and here we all are trying not to interfear.  i now have bite marks in my lip from keeping my mouth shut.  ACK!  there really is no way to discribe how my sister has fucked her family over over the years.  she uses my family, has us all babysit for nothing and barrows money, and then goes out and gets drunk with my babys in the other room. 

SHe is such a selfish bitch, she keeps taking and taking and never gives anything in return.  she cares about nothing but herself and a man that will NEVER love her back

As it is, she has another luser for a boyfriend right now, one that dosn't pay attention to my nieces or even her unless he want's to fuck, and what does she do?  she bitches and mones but stays with him anyway.  then she has a sweet friend named jack come and hang out with her, one that has liked her forever. and she's telling me not to mention her boyfrind  becasue she dons't want jack to know.  BECASUE THAT WAY SHE CAN KEEP USING PEOPLE AS SHE PLEASES!!!  well, lol, jack ain't much better, with his sneeky ways and all, but still, it's not the point.

okay, this is just me rambling.  i love my family ,and i even love my ssiter, but not at the fucking moment.  she puts me through hell and expects me to cuddle her when she is upset, but all i can think of is deleting her from my life like a virus. if it wasn't for my nieces, i might have done that years ago, along with the rest of the family

K, that's it, i'll leave u all alone now

TTFN

Well, here we are again, children.

tami is bored. 

not just today, mind u, with everything.  the world has become rutene, everything in my life has fallin into a dismal pattern that is inescapable

I'm gonna get a better job, better car, my own place to live where i don't have to deal with a roomamte of any kind, but that is all latter.  that is all in the future, and the present is borring me to death.

today the worst thing happened to me.  worse than my leg, my divorce, and my shame.

today i lost something more pressous to me than even my own life.  a small butterfly necklace given to me by my lttle sister Ashely, a few weeks before she died.  she told me that no matter what happened with me and chad, if we stayed together or broke up, me and her would always be sisters, and that this proved it.

i have never taken it off, exsept to clean it, in all the time she has been gone, and now that it is no longer around my neck, i feel as though a hammer crashed through my chest and broke my heart into pieces.  I still have the chain around my neck, but my butterfly is gone.

it's like a sign.  my mother in law told me in an email that ashely would not be happy with what i have done.  that she would not like it, and now my necklace has broken, so it is hard to not belive her, and that ashley hs deserted me as well.  life, liberty, and the persute of distruction

here is my distruction, so now i'm going to bed.

just thought u should all know if i don't come back for a while that i have a good reason

TTFN

well, i never thought this would happen to me, but it finally did.  i have insomia.  a very light case i think, it has only been a week without sleep so far.

well, the good news is that i am reconecting with my night owl friends once more, the ones that sleep all day and awaken when everyone else goes to sleep.  i even found a friend that i havent' seen since higschool through some other friends!  yay!  i love people!

sorry if this has been a dull sight lately, but besides not sleeping, my life has grown very rutine. 

my husband dosn't like this whole not sleeping thing.  i don't just sit around the house. if i can't sleep, i go out and have fun, bugging poeple, i don't just sit there in the dark willing myself to dream land, u know?

lol, that is it for now, gonna go out and have some more fun!

TTFN

Yellow all!!!

did u miss me?  i missed me too!  my buddie brian said that california was very quiet without me!  is this true?  i guess so, :)

i had a blast, if u wanted to know, and fuie on u if u didn't!  i got to see starwars eppisode three, and i gotta say it wqas the bestest of the first three by far, and it was even better than five, but then again, not many people like number five!  my fav is still number six, becasue number three has the sad ending.  u know, anican becoming vador and all, right? lol

everyone in the world loves me, i know it, but sometimes i don't see why, u know?  i am quite annoying, so my innocent charm runs out really quickly, if u know what i mean.  there is only so much blondism that people can take at one time

maybe that is why my husband and i fight like cats and dogs.  i rarly get ti enjoy our life together since most of the time we are fighting.

okay, that is it, if u want to knwo about my vaca, u need to ask perticuar questions, because i am not sqeezing a whole week into this bulliton.
TTFN

What will u all do when i go away for a week?  there will be no interent where i will be, so u will all have to go elsewhere for your gosip!  lol, oh, no u won't!  u don't read this anymore!

i'm tired, my head hurts, but at least i can go back to kickboxing~!

yay~

TTFN

it has been brought to my attention that i did not mention WHY i was in an ambulence yesterday, and i am sorry.

well, i woke up around twelve fifty monday morning, and i coudlnt breath. i had extreem chest and back pain in my upper body, by the heart and lungs. --yeah i know, not a good place!

i spent some time trying to denie the pain, thinking it would go away, but eventually gained my sense and woke up my husband.  he called the ambulence and they loaded me up--okay, nwo this is retarded, i walked out of the apartment, and got onto the gurnie myself, THEN they strapped me down and loaded me up and took me away.

when we got to the hospital, i was really really hurting, so they rushed me to the emergency room and put me in the room with the stupid curtain.  my husband didn't ride with me, he had to go wake up mark, our guest, and get in the car to follow the ambulence.

they put me into a position that didn't hurt me, and then tested me for everything that was lethal that had to do with my pain.  they tested my heart, lungs, blood, and x-rayed me.  they coudlnt' find what was hurting me, and decided that i wasn't going to die, so they gave me happy pills that begin with a V and sent me home. 

i can't go to work for two days, then i have a doctors apointment on thursday to find out what is wrong with me.  i have to go to work tomorrow though, and man o man, is that going to be fun!! not!

my mother in law dosn't like that i am going to be driving, becasue if this attack thing happens again, since i can't take the happy pills while driving, i'll be trapped where ever i am, so well, dang~!

well, that is it, so now i am bored outa my skull--i love skulls--sitting on my butt at home.  i can't do anything, so this is really sucky, i can't even cook something!

ah, well, at least i am alive, right?

TTFN

Sorry, everyone.  i didn't get any pics of Angel's baby, cause i am odd as all heck and wanted to blow off steam with my friends, so i can't go to a hospital when i want to blow off steam.

... not to mention the fact that i'm terafied of hospitals!!!  i'll need support to get myself through to door. lol

i'l get pics of that kid onto the site soon enough, cuz i KNOW you guys are all just DYING to see them, huh? 

Well, just so that everyone is on the same page as me, i ofishally believe that everyone in the world either dosn't know me, or is trying to get away from me.  Not physicaly, of course, just mentaly.  At least, i hope that it is all subconchus, because otherwise it means that my husband is perpusly making my life a living hell.  do any of you know what a house wife is?  of course you do.  now, in the tradishonal family, the man brigns home the bacon and the woman does all the house stuff. 

man works fourty hours

woman cooks cleans and takes care of children.

fair, right?

okay, now tell me what you think of the man working forty, then coming home and watching tv or playing video games all day and night, then going to sleep.  spending their weekends lounging and hanging out with firends. 

here is the diference, the woman is ALSO working forty hours a week, then doing to cooking and all the cleaning and grocerie shopping and loading two bags of laundry into a car once a week to do laundry.  the woman works five days a week, and kickboxes every day after work, and hten on her days off has to do everything else

now, tell me, does that seem fair?

well, that is it for today, you can all let me know what you think of this 'hypathetical' situation if you want, maybe i'll let the 'hypathetcal' husband know your answers!!!

TTFN everyon!

Okay, everyone, today is the day that my buddie Angel pops, but not in the tradishonal way.  today she gets sliced and dyced by the docters to bring her child into the world.  she has already had two C cections, so she can't have a normal birth now, so they get to cut her up!  lol

everyone welcome baby Angel into the world, because that is her name.  My friend Angel's real name is Laneta, so she dosn't want to be that mean to her kid! ;)

there will be pics of the new life after it comes itno the world latter today, but right now all you guys get is a typing.

okay, time to go to kickboxing, gots to get it out of the  way early today, so byebye all

TTFN

well, hellow world

work was not fun today, i got called a witch with a B so many times that the world has lost all meaning to me now.  i can never call someone that ever again, because i will not  feel the meaning for it when i do!!!

ah,well.

so, how are all of you?  Tami is tired, and i has to go get that damn blood test again!!!  ah, i hate that, and if you want to know why, see my entry called "blood" for full details.  the tests they did on me are compeletely unconclusive, which means that i am either dying or perfectly fine, what a wonderful error, huh?

well, still trying to talk myself into letting my mom help me with getting my book published, but then i have all that pressure to be perfect, because otherwise my mother is out lots of mony, and i kNOW she won't let me pay it back if it dons't sell, so what's a blonde to do?

and to explain the the milk and cookies thing, i have milk right now, and well, as they say, if you give a blonde a glass of milk, she is going to want a cookie!!!  but i have no cookies, so that sux big time

k, that's it today,

TTFN

Did you know that it costs a zillion dollars to get something copyrighted?  it is some big legol pain in my butt.

i told my mother  about it, and she says that once she sells her house --no, she isn't doing that for me, she was already planing on it!-- she wants to loan me the money to have int copeyrighted and possably published if the publishers don't bite.  wow, you never realy know about people, do you?

Don't get me rong, i love my mother as much as my little black heart can, but with all the risks she's taken in the past on my syblings i don't understand why she would be willing to take one on me.  I'm the middle child of three by her, and my older sister has offishally skrewd her out of more money than i would like to mention--mostly because i can't count that high--and never payed back a red sent.

Well, lets hope that i am as good a novelist as i think i am, because of therwise this will be the bigest waist of mony on my behaf in the history of wasiting money!!!

lol, gots to love my mommy.  hay, unlike the rest of you people, i gots not one, not two, but THREE mommies.  they all love me, i know, but there is a bond between the child and woman who gives birth to you.  Maybe my mom wasn't the most perfect mommy in the world, but she is MY mommy, and that is damn better than antyhing else i could think of.

well, when it is published and i am rich and famus, i will stil write in this thing every day, that is a promise to all of u!!!  like you really care if i stop, right?  lol

okay, that's it today, i guess.  everyone give their love to my mommy, cuz she reads this, k?  let her know how great she is!!!

Well, i guess i sould rant more often, i've never gotten so many messages in one setting!!!

Some of you seem to like the fact that i drive 'white nuckled' and i would just like to say. lol.  yeah, that is it.  i laugh at the way i drive, too, you guys should see it in person, it will make you want to fall over.  I drive like six miles under the limit and make that little gaspy sound whenever a car comes near me.  when someone cuts me off i lay on the horn and cuss like a sailor.

The first time i drove after the accsadent that almost killed me i got passed up by a little old man, who shoook his fist at me.  everyone of the freeway wanted to run me off the road and i couldn't for the life of me make myself go any faster.  My family loves to tease me about it, but if they try to push me to go faster or drive too stupid when i am in the car, i will deck them--exsept for my husband, becasue he hits harder than me and will lay me flat if i tried--

I really like pissing off other drivers by going the limit whne they want to speed but can't get around me.  the closer they get to my bumper, the slower i go, until i'm at a crawl and they turn left or right!

okay, i am done with the rant of the day, so that is it for now, peoples!!!
TTFN

As you can see, i am typing in red, because i am seeing red right now.  i love my husband with all of my little black heart, but right now... let's just say it is good we have a two bedroom apartment.

I have been in a lot of car accsadents in my life, and the last one almost killed me.  Since then i have had this sereous paranoia about cars and being in them.  i think that every car on the road is out to get me, so i drive 'white kuckled' as my dad calls it. my husband took me out to dinner with friends tonight and he sped the entire way, growling at me when i asked him to slow down.  he dosn't care that it scares the shit out of me when he drives.  So right now my hands are shaking and my temper is flaring, but of course he is completely oblivious.

MEN!!!

well, not all of you guys, just him!!!

okay, i had a request to find out what the phrase 'pease, love, and bullet proof marshmellows' means.  well, i learned the phrase from my buddie Alura and to this day have no clue what it means, i just like to say it.

Well, that i guess is al lfor today, thankyou for letting me vent today, i really need to take my anger out on someone else besides the husband, because he would be dead by now if i could take it out on him~

TTFN

Well, maybe i am crazy, maybe i am not, but there is one thing that i am sertain of that i believe i shall share with you right now

I will one day be a bestselling author.

This morning at two am i finished re-writing my first story, one that i started when i was forteen years old and very stupid.  I have begun the process to publifacation, and yes i know, the way i spell leaves little to the imaganation of the headache taht this will be for who ever must proof my work.  ah, the curse of dislexia.

Koresh Blood, by Tamara Lee

this story included lies, mystory, romance, and, my favorit, magic!  I do love my passion!  well, if you see this tital on a shelf some day, i recomend you buy it, because i swear that will be a best seller!

LOL, peace, love, and bullet proof marshmellows, all!

TTFN